I’m sitting in my favorite chair, TV remote in hand, shaking my head in disbelief. There’s nothing good to watch on television. Unless, of course, you’re into UFOs, the location of the Ark of the Covenant, Hitler’s super weapon or how to survive in the woods without any clothes. This is why even though I get over a hundred channels, I’ll usually end up looking at “Gunsmoke” or “Tales of Wells Fargo.“
Times have changed. I remember when I was a kid there were only two VHF channels – three if you counted public TV (which I watched if the “Soupy Sales Show” was on). Sadly, back then you only had one chance to catch your favorite show. For example, if I missed “Lassie,” it would be months before that episode would appeared as a rerun – if it even aired at all. This was the reason I pitched a fit whenever the president gave a speech. It was on both networks, so my entire night was ruined. No TV – I had to read a book! I don’t think children in this day and age could handle that kind of pressure.
In the early days of television almost every adventure show seemed to be a western. The list was quite impressive: “Wagon Train,” “Gunsmoke,” “Have Gun Will Travel,” “Cheyanne,” “Laramie,” “Anne Oakley,” “Tales of Wells Fargo,” “Maverick,” “Wyatt Earp,” “Bat Masterson,” “The Lone Ranger,” “The Rifleman,” “Roy Rogers” and, of course, “Bonanza.”
Besides “The Lone Ranger,” my favorite was “Tales of Wells Fargo,” starring an actor named Dale Robertson as Special Agent Jim Hardie. Hardie’s job was to investigate the weekly stage coach robbery and catch the bad guys – all in 30 minutes. Now I watch reruns of “Wells Fargo” almost every night at 10. It’s a nice way to turn back the clock. And as you might expect, there are things about the show I notice now that I never noticed then. For example, I can look at my watch at 10:26 and pretty much guarantee you that someone’s about to get shot. That gave Hardie enough time to fill the bad guy full of lead, step over the body and have a lighthearted ending while he rode out of town.
Also, the bad guys were notoriously bad shots, especially when it came to Jim Hardie. There could be an ambush set up to get ol ’Jim, and the bad guy would take careful aim with his rifle…and completely miss. But Hardie would pull his gun from his holster, return fire while his horse was at full gallop and kill the baddie with a single shot from a hundred yards. You didn’t mess with Jim Hardie.
Early westerns also had plenty of bad acting and dialog, which I find hilarious now. Predictably, “Tales of Wells Fargo” always dispensed some kind of moral lesson, like Hardie proving to the judgmental townsfolk that a wrongly accused man was innocent. He was kind of a cowboy Dr. Phil, except he could shoot you dead with a pistol, or beat you to a pulp with his fists.
I’m amazed by the number of A-List actors who had bit parts in the early westerns. I’ve seen Jack Nicholson, Steve McQueen, Leonard Nimoy (without pointed ears), Michael Landon, Carroll O’ Connor and Burt Reynolds just to name a few. Many of them became big movie stars, or gained fame and fortune on long-running TV shows. But back then, they were just working stiffs in Hollywood trying to make a paycheck, and thankful for any part they could get.
I suppose most famous example is “Rawhide.” “Rawhide” gave us the gift that keeps on giving – a breakout role for Clint Eastwood. If Clint never was cowboy Rowdy Yates, Chuck Connors may have ended up in all those spaghetti westerns. Even worse, someone like Samuel L. Jackson could’ve played Dirty Harry. Then the most famous line in the movie would have been, “Go ahead mutha’ –, make my day!” That doesn’t sound right to me.
Eventually, the black-and-white westerns gave way to color. The acting got better, and the plots became more sophisticated. But to me, they lost some of their simple charm that I find so appealing now. It’s a lot like “The Andy Griffith Show” – I never watch a color episode – only black and white. That’s probably a good rule to follow with vintage TV westerns.
And never get up when it’s 10:26. Things are about to really get good.
Joe Hobby is a barbecue-loving comedian from Alabama who wrote for Jay Leno for many years. Find more of Joe’s stories on his blog: https://mylifeasahobby.blogspot.com. Follow him on Facebook at Joe Hobby Comedian-Writer.
