From my personal perspective, one of the most wonderful things about having grandchildren (besides being able to give them back) is that we get to choose the names that they call us. I’m certainly glad this is the case, but considering how parents micromanage every aspect of their kid’s lives nowadays, it’s surprising that they even allow us this little perk. But they do. A survey found that 38% of all grandparents’ names are chosen by the grandparents themselves. This comes as no surprise to me. Grand names are a source of pride – a badge of honor that can be compared and shared with all their contemporaries from high school reunions to church covered dishes.
With such leeway, you can expect some, shall we say, interesting grandparent names. MeeMaw, MomMee, Mawmaw, Pawpaw, Mimi, Nana, Momma, Mater, Marme, Mammu, Papu, Gran, Ga-Lu, YaYa, Grat, Grams, Pop Pop, Pops, Paw, Papa and no telling how many more. At the risk of insulting someone, I think Big Momma may be one of the worst names for a grandmother ever. It sounds like either a female head of a crime syndicate, or an older woman who’s going to Weight Watchers.
Generally speaking, it seems that the grandmothers’ names are more creative than those chosen by the grandfathers. For example, I called my grandmothers MeeMaw and MomMee. I just called both my grandfathers “granddaddy.”
My parents were known as Papa and Mate. My dad made sure that his grandfather name preference was known to everyone as soon as the first grandchild was born. “Mate” was a shortened version of Mater – which is Latin for mother. Don’t ask me how it came about – the only Latin anyone in my family knows is Pig Latin. It didn’t matter; I called my mother Mate for the last 30 years of her life.
When our time came, my wife wanted to be known as Mimi, a name that seems to be very much in vogue right now. I asked to be called granddaddy. Sure it’s vanilla – kind of basic; that’s just fine with me. Others obviously agree with my choice because it’s the number one name for grandfathers. However; there was a problem. When she was young, my first granddaughter Rilynne couldn’t quite pronounce the word, so she condensed it down to Grinny. I kind of liked it. It was cute, personal and distinctive. But just when I thought that name was going to be etched on my tombstone, she began to say the word correctly. I won’t lie, it made me a little sad. Everyone wants to be a one of a kind, and now I was just another granddaddy – although on rare occasions, she will still say, “Hey Grinny!” Situations like this come about because the survey also found that 30% of all grandparent names have been given to them by the child themselves. I’m sure that’s how some of the most affectionate, quirky grandparent names come about. It’s a young child’s attempt to pronounce a big adult word.
Soon I had a second granddaughter named Addy, and once again, an opportunity for a unique name presented itself. Addy’s attempt to call me granddaddy came out as Day-Yay. Of course, I answered to it – who wouldn’t? Unbelievably, the name has stuck. Addy is almost 5 years old now and I’m still Day-Yay. In addition, Rilynne has picked up on it, and now she calls me Day-Yay about as often as she calls me granddaddy. Once again, I’m one of a kind.
Not all names have an origin in sentiment, affection or mispronunciation. One of my old comedian friends told me that she instructed her grandkids to call her GG. When I asked her why, she responded, “Because it stands for Gorgeous Granny. And I made sure they call their grandfather Bug.”
“Bug?” I asked.
“Bug. Yep. B-U-G. It stands for Butt Ugly Granddaddy. I made that one up myself.”
I had no doubt about that.
Joe Hobby is a barbecue-loving comedian from Alabama who wrote for Jay Leno for many years. Find more of Joe’s stories on his blog: https://mylifeasahobby.blogspot.com. Follow him on Facebook at Joe Hobby Comedian-Writer.
