CULLMAN, Ala. – Elizabeth Standifer, a 2021 graduate of Cullman High School, is hoping to shed some light on a subject near and dear to her heart. Standifer came to Cullman in October of 2019 and was placed at Childhaven by Jefferson County DHR by no fault of her own. The stigma that came along with that, for her and the other girls, made an already difficult situation worse. Not only does Standifer hope to help erase the stigma; she hopes to encourage others to consider giving a home and family to a teen in need.
Standifer will soon leave for Lipscomb University on a full tennis scholarship to start her freshman year as a student athlete. She wants her success as a child in the foster system to be an example of the incredible potential other teens at Childhaven also possess. “Everyone deserves a home. I just really believe that,” she said.
Standifer has been in the custody of Alabama DHR since December of 2017, after her birth parents had their parental rights terminated. She bounced from foster home to foster home for the first two years and by the time she was placed at Childhaven, she had attended almost a dozen different high schools.
She recalled, “I lived at Childhaven until August of last year (2020). At Cullman High School, I really struggled with the other students. Many knew where I lived and were not welcoming to me or my peers who lived with me.” She continued, “They knew I went to Childhaven because it’s this big random building and it doesn’t look like a normal house. Then, we would come to school every day in the big vans because they had to take so many girls. When you lived at Childhaven, everybody knew. There was no hiding it.”
Standifer and the other girls would often get confronted with questions that were uncomfortable or judgemental. She said, “The stigma around it. People would wonder, ‘When do you get out of there or are your parents going to take you back?’” To Standifer, these inquiries seemed to place the blame on the girls or imply that Childhaven was a place for bad children. The stigma placed on the girls can feel like being victimized all over again.
“I heard parents joke about it all the time. I would hear them say to their kids, ‘If you aren’t good, we are going to send you to Childhaven!!’ I just don’t think people understand what it really is. None of the girls are there, and I was not there, because of a fault of their own. It’s because their parents either malnourished them or assaulted them, in any way, or anything that DHR deems that a child needs to be removed from the house, like the parents being on drugs. It’s not because of anything the child does.”
She continued, “I just got a whole lot of negativity at Cullman High School the entire time I was there from students and parents. It was not needed. No one actually took the opportunity to get to know me. Little did they know that I was in this hole in my life. Like, legally, I had no parents, so I was an orphan. Despite all of that, I still came out strong with an amazing ACT score and an amazing GPA. I am going on a full scholarship to play Division 1 tennis.”
“There’s a big need for teenage adoption and that’s why group homes exist. There are not enough foster homes for teenagers to go to because everyone wants babies, which is fine. People don’t really understand that just because you’re a teenager and just because you are in foster care, does it mean everything will run smoothly? No, but it doesn’t make us evil or bad,” she said.
In August of 2020, Cullman High School Athletic Director Mark Stephens made the decision that his family would open their home to Standifer. She said, “We started talking and he made the decision after me getting close to his two children that he and his wife wanted to take me in.”
She believes her tennis abilities helped her stand out. She explained, “A lot of people get noticed for their athletics and I think it stood out. A lot of times girls in foster care, from moving so much and not having the financial means, don’t have the ability to be good at sports. I had played tennis for many years before coming into foster care, so that foundation was there for me.” Standifer came into Cullman and earned the top spot on the tennis team.
“He (Stephens) was like ‘What?? Who are you??’” she laughed. “Six months later, they surprised me. Annabelle had me over for her birthday last year and they told me I could stay forever, and I have been here ever since.” The Stephens are now Standifer’s legal guardians.
She added, “I had a few teachers and administrators at Cullman High School that really helped, and I became close with. Mrs. Hall helped me a lot. Officer Anderson, who is the resource officer there, Ms. Tuggle and Mr. Sparks and especially Mr. Stephens and his family. I built a support system even though I didn’t have any friends there that were my peers. They helped me tremendously. I couldn’t have done it without them.”
Standifer plans to adopt teenagers in the future and work in child advocacy. At Lipscomb, she plans to work toward becoming a lawyer for kids in need of representation. She said she is looking forward to college this week, saying, “I have a week for orientation and then the following Monday class and practice will start as well. I am pretty excited!!”
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