Have you ever asked your parents or grandparents what they want for Christmas and heard, “I don’t need anything; as long as you are here, that’s enough.”? The Tribune stopped by the Donald E. Green Active Adult Center to find out if that often-heard response is a truthful one.
“Yes, they mean it,” Sherry Boatright said.
Boatright and the others polled at the center sent a clear message- time is the greatest gift.
Boatright spoke of her own mother, “I would buy her things and after a few months, she’d give it back to me. I might buy her a gift card for this or that. She’d never use it so she’d give it back to me.”
She laughed, “The older you get, the less you need. If there is something you need, you probably need it now and just go get it. Sometimes I think, ‘Oh, you know what would be a great Christmas gift would be if they would buy all my medications next year!’”
“Just you being here is enough; well, I mean that when i say that. If I want something, I’ll just go get it,” said Dona Adams.
Adams recalled shopping for her own mother, sharing, “My mother was very picky and my daddy spoiled her rotten! He was one of these that did the 12 Days of Christmas and brought gifts in every day. When he passed away in ‘86, us kids took over what my daddy had done for her. I’m not kidding you! He spoiled her rotten! We knew all her favorites so we would get all of them and get together and say, ‘OK, I got the Este Lauder and I got this and that.’”
Adams’ advice to everyone?
“Spend as much time with them as you can,” she said.
After the death of her mother-in-law last week, Adams was reminded of how important the gift of time can be.
“It just meant so much to her to have her kids and grandkids there with her. It didn’t matter what they gave her. She just wanted them there with her. A gift is not a substitute for your time.”
What about the grandfathers?
David, who didn’t want to give his last name, said, “I just appreciate them showing up.”
He laughed, saying that when he and his siblings went through their parents’ possessions after they passed, they found gifts they had given their parents still in the boxes.
David’s wife, Carol, added, “They said, ‘If you gave it, you carry it with you.’”
David and Carol thought long and hard and couldn’t think of any gift they wanted or needed. They both said they just enjoy being with their family and creating lasting memories.
“You need to spend time with your grandparents and family, that’s what they want. If you spent a few hours with them, that’s better than a gift, I think,” Keith Patterson said.
Patterson doesn’t have children but is a proud uncle to 26 nieces and nephews, including greats and great-greats.
He added, “I’m known for taking them on hikes after Thanksgiving and Christmas luncheons.”
Patterson is from Cullman but moved away for 20 years before returning home where his six sisters and five brothers live.
He said, “When it comes down to it, family is where it’s at!”
He suggested teaching older family members how to use a smartphone so they can better communicate with the kids.
Patterson said with a smile, “Young people communicate by text. They won’t answer the phone because they know it’s an old person.”
Myra, who also preferred to just give her first name, said, “I want my kids and grandkids to come by and see me. They don’t come by as often as I would like.”
She laughed about her mother-in-law, “She was hard to buy for. Everything she wanted, she went and got it. If she didn’t already have it, she didn’t want it.”
When Myra was asked what she would like to have if her family insisted on a gift, her answer was powerful.
She said, “I think a letter. A letter telling me how they loved me or something. That would mean more to me that any gift they bought. Something from the heart.”
There is no greater gift than time spent together. Myra loves that her family visits on Christmas, but like so many others, she wants regular visits throughout the year.
Perhaps many could take the time used shopping to simply drop by for an impromptu visit. Write a letter of love and gratitude. It will likely be the most cherished gift you can give and possibly the best gift you give yourself.
Copyright 2019 Humble Roots, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
