Adel and E.H. Mize, who were from Cullman, on their wedding day – Feb. 1, 1942 (photo contributed by family)
The Bible mentions the word “love” 310 times. In the 60s the Beatles told us that “all we need is love” and for most of us, love is high on our list of priorities, although we oft times take it for granted, especially when we fuss and squabble amongst ourselves.
Love, according to the dictionary, is a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child or friend.
Love, so they say, never fails.
According to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love conquers all…
In a 2010 study conducted at Rutgers University, researchers concluded that falling in love is much like the sensation of being addicted to drugs, with a sense of euphoria, including brain chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline and vasopressin. Kat Van Kirk, Ph.D., a clinical sexologist and licensed marriage and family therapist, says these chemicals are released throughout different points of attraction, and help bond you with your partner. Like drugs, the more time you spend with this person, the more addicted you become, says Van Kirk.
So, what actually happens when we “fall” in love, and why do they call it falling?
Often the heart rate speeds up and the hands get sweaty. Love is like the stimulation of adrenaline and norepinephrine. "This can lead to having a physical sensation of craving and the desire to focus your attention on that specific person," said Kirk.
But did you know that you can actually die of a broken heart? Well, according to the American Heart Association it’s a scientific fact. The technical term is "stress-induced cardiomyopathy," and it can strike even the healthiest person when their stress hormones surge during an emotionally stressful event, such as the death of a partner, divorce or even a bad breakup. Symptoms often mimic those of a heart attack and include shortness of breath, irregular heartbeat and chest pain. While broken heart syndrome can cause permanent damage to the heart and, in rare cases, even death, the good news is that most cases are treatable and can be completely resolved within a few weeks.
According to an ABC News story, the world's most important living philosopher, Slavoj Žižek, reminds us to remember why we call this emotion “falling in love.”
“It makes sense because usually we don't glide or float into love; we fall, we plummet, we plunge, completely out of control when we're falling. The whole process is a violation, a violence, having its own volition. Love overcomes us, overwhelms us, overtakes us.”
Is it any wonder that we lose our appetite, our sleep, our focus and our sense of reason when we fall in love? And doesn’t this out-of-control state leave us pretty vulnerable? You bet it does!
We cry at sappy love songs, move halfway across a continent to be with the object of our affections, not to mention that this overwhelming feeling keeps florists in business.
My own great-great grandfather, Reason Young, ventured all the way from Laurens, South Carolina, following his sweetheart, who had come to north Alabama with her family in a wagon train; he followed a few months later, on foot, with only the clothes on his back and a burning desire to be with her. They did eventually marry, and raised a family near Youngtown, which is in Lawrence County. My point is, he came here not knowing if she would return his affections, but he was willing to follow his heart, giving up his home and leaving behind his widowed mother and siblings to be with her.
Others have crossed oceans, fought wars and many have even died for love.
Some studies indicate that men fall in love earlier than women and that women are quicker to fall out of love than men. I’m not so sure about that … I know women who put up with horrible men in the name of love.
Love can make us happier than anything in the world, and sadder than anything in the world. It can cause euphoria and despair. It is almost dangerous, but if we never leave ourselves open to the experience, we miss out on much of what is most valuable and important and wondrous in this life.
Love is without a doubt the force behind the writing of some of the greatest works of literature, the lyrics of the most beautiful songs, the subject of many memorable works of art and the inspiration for some of the most profound poetry.
Love, they say, makes the world go ‘round.
My hope for 2017 is that everyone finds love, continues to love, spreads love and goodwill, and makes an effort to share it with those around them. If everyone followed the golden rule, “Love thy neighbor as thy self” then would it not follow that the world would become a much better place for all of us?
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." I Corinthians 13, NIV
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